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Are You Emotionally Cheating on Your Spouse? Find Out Now

Dive in to uncover emotional cheating signs and see where you truly stand

Editorial: Review CompletedCreated By: Daniel LongoUpdated Aug 26, 2025
2-5mins
Profiles
Paper art illustration for quiz on emotional infidelity signs and status on a coral background

Use this quiz to see if you're emotionally cheating and learn which habits may cross your boundaries. You'll get clear, quick feedback you can use to protect your relationship. If trust is a concern, try our trust check, and for limits and lines, take the boundaries quiz .

When a coworker you click with DMs you after hours, how do you typically respond?
I reply briefly, keep it professional, and mention it at home for context.
I enjoy the back-and-forth and sometimes let it run longer than planned.
I move the chat to a more private channel and don't bring it up at home.
I eagerly engage, protect the thread, and feel anxious at the thought of stopping.
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Openness about context (who, why, how long) around outside friendships supports trust.
True
False
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Who hears your good news first when something big happens?
My spouse, then others as appropriate.
Usually my spouse, but sometimes someone else if they ping first.
Often the other person, because they "get it" more.
Almost always the other person; I save it for them.
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No physical contact means there can be no affair.
True
False
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After a tough day, where do you usually reach for emotional comfort first?
My spouse or shared supports we both know.
It varies; sometimes I text a friendly colleague for a quick lift.
I default to the other person; they are my safe place lately.
I crave the other person's support and avoid telling my spouse about it.
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Editing out details to avoid your spouse feeling upset is a boundary signal.
True
False
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At a recurring one-on-one lunch with a friend, how do you handle expectations?
I keep it transparent, set time boundaries, and share context at home.
I keep going a bit longer each time; it feels harmless and fun.
I prefer not to mention it anymore; it would only cause friction.
I actively prioritize the lunch and hide it because it feels vital to me.
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Hiding contact names or using code names builds safety in a marriage.
True
False
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How do you introduce your spouse to someone you connect with strongly outside home?
I invite connection and context so there's clarity for everyone.
I mention them lightly but avoid deeper overlap for now.
I keep them separate and vague to prevent questions.
I avoid any introduction and protect the separation intensely.
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Taking time limits for private chats helps prevent emotional drift.
True
False
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You notice a rush when the person messages. What do you do with that energy?
Name it, slow down, and re-center with my spouse and boundaries.
Let it ride but try to keep things "light."
Lean into the rush and save the best parts for them.
Chase the rush, escalate the bond, and defend it fiercely.
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Reading a message out loud to your spouse always violates privacy.
True
False
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When conflict arises with your spouse, how do you handle outside opinions?
Seek aligned support or mutual resources; avoid private triangles.
Vent a little with the other person, then cool it down.
Bring the problem to the other person first for validation.
Keep the conflict alive with the other person as my refuge and ally.
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Choosing where to take emotional comfort shapes loyalty paths.
True
False
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You're invited to a late-night hangout by someone you click with. What's your move?
Decline or set clear limits and share the context at home.
Say yes this time; I can manage the line.
Go and keep it off the radar to avoid reactions.
Go, stay late, and protect the privacy of the night.
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It is disloyal to tell your spouse about any outside bond you value.
True
False
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How do you handle inside jokes with the other person when your spouse is around?
I loop my spouse in or keep it inclusive and aboveboard.
I keep it light and try not to make it weird.
I switch codes around my spouse to keep the vibe with them intact.
I reserve special jokes for private moments and conceal them.
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Defensiveness about a connection can indicate growing secrecy.
True
False
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Your phone settings around lock-screen previews and app badges are mostly:
Normal transparency; nothing to hide and shared context if needed.
Slightly tighter lately; I like a little privacy here.
Hidden and scrubbed; I don't want questions about certain chats.
Locked down; I protect this channel from any visibility.
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Secrecy combined with strong emotional reliance can signal an emotional affair in motion.
True
False
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When you fantasize about the other person, what do you do next?
Notice, deglamorize, and redirect energy back to my partner and values.
Let the thought linger, then carry on.
Nurture the fantasy and share more intimate things with them.
Feed the fantasy, plan around it, and protect it from scrutiny.
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The more you hide, the more secure your marriage becomes.
True
False
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How do you label calendar time with the other person?
Accurately, with context my spouse could see without surprises.
Vaguely labeled; it feels simpler that way.
Private or coded to avoid raising eyebrows.
Hidden entirely to protect our time together.
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You feel a pull to compare your spouse and the other person in your head. What next?
Name the comparison, stop feeding it, and invest back at home.
Let the comparisons happen; it feels natural sometimes.
Lean on the other person's strengths to fill gaps I won't address at home.
Use comparisons to justify deeper attachment outside.
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You're asked directly about your connection with this person. How do you respond?
Share plainly, add context, and invite continued transparency.
Downplay; it is not a big deal and I prefer to move on.
Defend the privacy and suggest my spouse is overreacting.
Protect the bond and push back against scrutiny altogether.
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When the other person flirts, your typical reaction is:
Reinforce boundaries and redirect to neutral ground.
Let it slide as playful; no need to make it awkward.
Flirt back in private, but keep it out of sight at home.
Flirt back openly in private spaces and cultivate the spark.
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Small course corrections can rebalance a tilting outside connection.
True
False
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After a long day, whose messages do you prioritize responding to first?
My spouse or shared threads; then others as time allows.
Whoever texted last; sometimes the other person jumps the line.
The other person first; I feel pulled to them lately.
Always the other person; I feel responsible for that connection.
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You notice you are more open with the other person than with your spouse lately.
True
False
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When you catch yourself deleting threads, what is your usual reason?
I do not delete threads; transparency is my default.
It just feels cleaner; no big reason.
I do not want the context misunderstood at home.
I am protecting a bond that I fear losing if discovered.
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Profiles

  1. Rock-Solid Boundaries -

    You prioritize your partner and keep outside friendships transparent, with no hidden chats or confessions. This outcome shows you aren't drifting into emotional infidelity and have strong protective limits. Quick Tip: Continue using honest check-ins to reinforce trust.

  2. Friendly Confidant -

    You enjoy close bonds with someone outside your relationship but maintain respect for boundaries. Occasional personal sharing feels harmless, and you're alert to emotional cheating signs. Tip: Keep conversations light and recap important chats with your partner to stay accountable.

  3. Emotional Curiosity -

    You're experiencing growing emotional intimacy somewhere other than home, noticing signs of emotional infidelity like confiding your deepest thoughts. Ask yourself "am I cheating emotionally?" - this emotional affair quiz insight can help you pause and reflect. Tip: Address unmet needs with your partner and set clearer limits.

  4. Borderline Affair -

    Your outside connection triggers frequent emotional exchanges, secret messaging, and deep personal disclosures - strong emotional cheating signs. This stage on the emotional affair quiz suggests you're teetering on crossing the line. Tip: Have an honest conversation with your partner now to realign your bonds.

  5. Emotional Affair in Progress -

    You're fully immersed in a relationship outside your partnership, sharing intimate feelings and prioritizing that bond over your partner's. These unmistakable signs of emotional infidelity mean you're already cheating emotionally. Call-to-Action: Consider relationship counseling or open dialogue to rebuild loyalty.

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