What Type of a Urinator Are you?
How do you hang your Kula Cloth?
hand-foraged display branch
scotch tape
lay it on the floor
3M hook
How do you feel about Creepy Victorian Cats?
What?
Obsessed.
Sitting at a small altar I built for a photograph of a Creepy Victorian Cat and about to make one of 20 daily dedications to a cat effigy.
I put the sticker on my water bottle.
If you see somebody with a Kula, what would you do?
Laugh in their face. What a fool.
Hug them. Instant friends.
Propose marriage, immediately and without question.
Ask them if they have any Creepy Victorian Cat swag.
You have to pee while hiking on the trail... do you....
Feel excited because you get to use your Kula.
Pee in front of a group of people with no shame.
Hold it until you find the perfect spot - a combination of picturesque scenery and flat earth with little to no chance of spashback.
I will never pee unless I am sitting on a toilet made of 24k gold and encrusted with priceless gems.
What is your home like?
Which home? The 6 vacation homes that I own in the Turks and Caicos or my 10,000 sq ft summer cottage in the Hamptons? Please be more specific.
I live in an apartment, which has not been ideal for the dance experiment. I think I'm about to be evicted.
Home is where the heart is.
Don't ask me personal information like this.
You are getting dressed for a hike. What are you wearing?
Leggings that I pulled out of the dirty clothes bin and a shirt I found on the ground crumpled in a heap. I forget boots, so I hike in crocs.
Louis Vuitton and I are best friends, so he made me a custom hiking outfit. I really do prefer to hike in stilettoes..
I look like I walked out of the page of an REI catalog, except the more realistic catalog where everybody looks like they are miserable while hiking - because nobody is nearly as happy as they show in that catalog.
I refuse to hike until Kula Cloth releases a pair of those Creepy Victorian Cat Pants. Until then, I will wear only a thong in silent protest.
You get to hang out with one of the Kula sisters for a day. Which one will you choose?
Anastasia. She's obviously really hilarious and also shockingly good looking.
Anastasia. Wow. What can I say? I'm a little bit obsessed with her. Can I say that she's brilliant?
Anastasia. When I think about the people in this world who have made the largest contribution to the history of the universe, she's up there on the top of the list. Have you seen her dance?
Anastasia. Unreal personality and stunningly gorgeous.
Mare invites you to hang out with her. What do you suggest as an activity?
Netflix and chill, except literally with the chilling and not with 'chill' as a secret code word for hooking up.
Making content for Kula's instagram. There is nothing more exciting sounding than producing instagram content for the most unhinged fuckery train wreck of a social media account on the interwebs.
Stare into her eyes and see if it makes you feel more alive.
Wear formal attire and ride around in the back of a limo all day long while Mare serenades you with her recorder.
You are lost in the woods. What do you do?
Use the reflective thread on your Kula Cloth to summon a rescue. If you hold it at the right angle, it might pick up a signal.
Eat all your food and drink your water immediately. It's important to shed that extra weight that you are carrying so that you can be more nimble.
Immediately start figuring out a new skincare regimen using all natural materials. Exfoliation is going to be key over the next few days so that your skin does not get dull.
Look for that ancient spider in the cluster of amethyst crystals in the secret mountain lair. If there's a way out of here, that spider will know.
Pick the closest match to your perfect day.
Laying on the beach, nude, drinking a fruity beverage and then later realizing that it's a dream.
Dancing all day on a zoom call.
Scrolling through the Kula Cloth Instagram and literally reading every single post they've ever done, even the ones from way back in the day that were really a bit lackluster, if I'm being honest with myself.
Scouring the internet for a pair of victorian pajamas that you can wear.
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