What Presidential Turkey Are You!?

You are on your way home from having just finished another day of back-breaking manual labour at the turkey factory when you find a small baggie of unmarked pills at the bus stop. What do you do?
Take the pills.
Sell the pills.
Throw the pills in a garbage can.
Ignore the pills.
Run!
You find yourself in the middle of some kind of birthday party. What do you do?
Get drunk.
Steal a birthday present.
Eat some cake.
Find a bedroom to sleep in.
Run!
You are attending the funeral of an old friend that has recently died from complications relating to auto-erotic asphyxiation. What do you do?
Calmly pay your respects.
Hit on the new widow.
Wait for the magic mushrooms you took to kick in.
Wish you were the one in the casket.
Run!
You are stranded in a lifeboat with several others; your food and water are starting to run out. What do you do?
Portion out the resources equally.
Give more resources to the injured/sick.
Who needs resources when you have a secret stash of quaaludes?
Honestly, just die.
Swim!
You are in some kind of gigantic, futuristic facility and there is nobody else around. What do you do?
Start pushing buttons!
Lie down and accept my fate.
Hack the mainframe.
Find something to eat.
Run!
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